Various thoughts on "Love"

Recently I've been talking to various people about various relationship. These rank from "She's so lucky to have found him" to "Just why the hell is he putting up with her again?" (I'm not naming names. :P) And that sorta sparked some thoughts in this little head of mine...

True Love

I still remember when I was in high school, and the priest who was taking the religious studies class made the statement that "There is no true love, only an imitation that you think is true love". Now, if you are going to teach a bunch of 16 year olds, and you happen to be a priest (and/or never married), DO NOT attempt to make that statment. It was amazing that the priest survived that class.

Anyway, now that I'm a bit older, and hopefully a bit wiser, I suddenly came back to that line, and think on it a bit. I think I'm starting to understand what he meant. If God is the essence of Love (Which I do believe, read the Bible! Clues are everywhere.), then we, as human, in our flesh and bones, and with our wants and desire and a biochemical plant in our head, would not be capable for the True Love in the sense that God loves us. Makes sense?

I'm not saying we're not trying hard enough, I'm saying we wouldn't even be able to comprehend that. Am I saying we should, and we should try to approach that sense of True Love? No, I'm not. In fact, I don't even think it's God's intension to understand and mimic it.

I once read a novel with the idea that it's our bodies that limits us to perfection, or Nirvana. Sometimes I think that's true. But on the other hand, you will never be able to experience this level of emotion without one. Enjoy it.

Selfless Love

People seems to glorified this term. I used to think to love is to only think of the other person, and it's about sacrificing myself. And then I realise there's some flaw in that logic.

While there are heroic acts, such as a mother sacrificing herself for her child, Love should not be completely selfless. Because the person whom you should learn to love first, is yourself. Out of the love for yourself then come love for others.

At first glance that sounds extremely selfish, but do bare with me for a little bit more. The person you know the best, whom you spend most of your time with, is yourself. If you can't even love yourself, and take care of yourself, how are you going to love and care for others?

The problem with us mortals is that we try to think that we're immortal and can be perfect. We aren't and we can't. Don't expect us to be.

Loving relationship

Here's a short list of what I consider as signs of good/bad relationship. The list is composed using experience from myself and friends alike, and Dr Phil :P

• A good relationship is a partnership


• A bad relationship is a dictatorship


• A good relationship helps both of you to feel better about yourselves


• A bad relationship makes you doubt yourself even more


• A good relationship makes you feel like you're the luckiest person


• A bad relationship makes you feel like you're a martyr of Love


• A good relationship is where you think he/she is the one


• A bad relationship is where you think that would do

But the number one rule, or paradox, of good/bad relationship:
When you're in a bad relationship, you probably wouldn't have realise it. But If you're in a good relationship, you'll know, right away.

Speaking of bad relationships...

It's funning how when I look back, I always thought those bad (or not so happy) relationships were going to last. I always thought he was the best, or at least whom I'm meant to be with. Forgetting the fact that half the time, I'm not even happy there.

In Conclusion

Those are just some of my thoughts and observation. I don't claim to know everything. To be honest I don't think we can ever tell what "love" really is, and how to actually tell whether it's a good/bad relationship we're in. (Let's face it: when you're in the middle on something, you can't really tell what really is going on. Blame that biochemical plant in your head.) The best advice I can give is to look after yourself and love yourself. You know that much. And if something doesn't make you happy, try consider taking a step back to analyse it. Chances are nothing is really worth you making yourself to suffer.